I read a very interesting book recently (interesting to me anyway) and the author was a martial arts teacher who gave all of his new students a list of permissions granted to them. These ranged from permission to defend themselves to permission to one day be better than him. He wanted his students to be free to do their best and get the most out of their training. In other words he gave them permission to succeed. Ofcourse this got me to thinking about the liberties we, as a civilized society, grant ourselves. An example would be how some men give themselves permission to express their feminine side, or how some adults give themselves permission to act childish. My own example is how I have given myself permission to make a fool out of myself if it makes someone happy or lightens the mood (karaoke and doing the worm at a party come to mind). But now I have decided that I want to grant myself more liberties. I will no longer be held back by not giving myself the freedom to do what I really want, or say what I really want. Below are some of my new "stamps of approval" to myself:
1. Permission to be rude when I want. I no longer care if I come across as mean because I am not. So if I seemed rude to you I was probably just having a bad day and did not feel like putting on a happy face just for your sensitivities. Sorry.
2. Permission to laugh out loud in public or cry in private. If its funny, I will laugh my butt off regardless of what anyone else thinks. I have always been one to just chuckle and maybe give a little nose snort. My wife will laugh hysterically at anything she perceives as funny, regardless of where she is or in what company. I have always been a little jealous of the laugh-out-loud-crowd, but no more. I will howl with the best of them now... Also, it is now OK for me to cry as long as no one is around (a man has to have his pride). I don't think I need to linger on that one too long.
3. Permission to express myself and be different. I think I started that one when I got my tattoo, but granting myself this new permission will really free me up. No, not with more tattoos - my mom has yet to accept the one I have. But if I feel like wearing a basket on my head and clogs on my feet, so be it.
4. Permission to question my beliefs and yours. For instance, I just bought a book on Buddhism. That does not mean I am going to change my Christian beliefs, but rather I want to explore why others believe the way they do. Why are all Buddha statues fat? What's with the belly rub? Its not divine answers I am seeking, but enlightenment.
5. Permission to be who I want to be. If I want to be stronger, then I am free to workout and build muscle. If I want to be smarter, then there is a library full of books to expand my mind. If I want to do anything to better myself, I now have the liberty to do what is necessary to achieve that goal. No stereotypes I must heed to and no preconceptions about how a man my age should look or act. I choose.
6. Permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Sure, we all make mistakes and we know that they are unavoidable. But here is the way I am going to look at it from this point on; if I am making mistakes that means that I am making decisions. The one who makes the decisions is the one in charge. Mistakes can be learned from, patronizing cannot.
OK, so I showed you mine now you show me yours. I hereby grant you permission to go forth and empower yourself with your own new freedoms - the only caveat is that you have to share them with the rest of us. What are you waiting for?
