Thoughts on The Invitation - part 8

8. "It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children."

This goes back to my original post about the sorry state of laziness affecting my brothers today. I know of one person in particular that is so self absorbed that he is robbing his kids of the Daddy they deserve - actually I know several so called "men" like that. I don't care how much money you have or how many toys you own, I care about what you are doing for your family. Do your kids know you? I mean really know you? I believe this verse is talking to us guys - if we don't spend time with our children, somebody will. That void will be filled by someone, or worse, something. So get off your arse and hug them babies. Get on your knees, on their level, kiss that precious child and tell them you love them. Don't be afraid to show emotion - it won't make you look weak and it won't turn them gay. It will make them feel loved, and that's what really matters.

Who said that? I said it!

CJ

Thoughts on The Invitation - part 7

WTF...

7. "I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

Yeah, not so much. I have never failed and had the urge to hollar "yes", although I have hollared other words. And if I yelled "yes" because of your failure you would certainly have some choice words for me.

I like the spirit of this verse, but it ain't happening.

Best of luck to ya.

CJ

Thoughts on The Invitation - part 6

6. "I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from its presence."

I have been waiting for this one. One of my pet peeves are men, and women, who are not faithful to their spouse. How many lives have to be ruined, or how many children have to the scarred before we wake up and realize how emparative it is to keep our friggin pants on! To give in to lust, just one time, can undo a lifetime of trust and hapiness. To throw it all away just to satisfy that one momentary need is ludicrous. How good could it have been? In less than 10 minutes you have single-handily brought so much pain and suffering to so many people - the wife or husband who has to live with the betrayal for the rest of their lives, the kids who will now grow up in a broken home and not know what marraige is supposed to look like. If you can't control your desires for the sake of your family, then you are not worthy of that family. Truth is, they are probably better off without you. Just my opinion.

OK, enough of that.

The second part about seeing beauty and sourcing your life off of it is deep as well. You know those old couples who have been married for like 70 years and still hold hands and never leave each other's side? They have it figured out. They do not see the wrinkles or the baldness or the fragility, they see beauty. They see a lifetime shared together. They have been through it all: the best of times, the worst of times, fallen "in love" and fallen "out of love", raised the kids the best they knew how, most of their friends have faided into a distant memory, but the one constant has been each other. It was not all a bed of roses, but they endured. They vowed to stick it out together no matter what. What greater joy could there be than to end the dance with the one who brought you? There is a special place in heaven for these kinds of people. God bless 'em!

Thoughts on The Invitation - part 5

We're on a roll now...

5. "It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul."

I am going to be honest here - I do care if the story you are telling me is true. I know what Orion is trying to say, it is more important that a person be true to themselves than to us. But, I guess I am too selfish, I need to know that you are honest with me as well as yourself. One aspect that does resonate with me is the part about disappointing another to be true to yourself. We all hate to disappoint those we love, but sometimes that is a necessary part of growth. You marry a person your parents don't agree with, or take the path that was not chosen for you, all in the name of love, or dreams. I am sure the day will come that one of my boys, or both of them, will disappoint me because their heart leads them in a different direction than the one I would have chosen. When that day comes, I will read this paragraph again and hopefully realize that they are their own person and must choose their own way - to do anything less would be a betrayal to themselves. Easy for me to say now...

May your journey take you where your heart desires.

CJ

Thoughts on The Invitation - part 4

OK, I am really having a hard time with all this mushy feelings stuff. I will be changing topics soon because this is getting a little too "metro" for my taste. But for now, continuing with our contemplations...

4. "I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human."

Basically, I want to know if you are a true friend. Are you going to be beside me through good times and bad? Will you listen and not judge? Sometimes we don't want answers, we want empathy. The world is full of "band wagoners" who are quick to share in our happiness and success. What is rare is a friend who respects you as a person, who looks at your soul and likes what they see. Spouses don't count, they are "supposed" to be there, til death do us part. Real friendships are the ones that are hard to come by. I have been guilty of being a one-way friend myself. It is really hard to put your opinions to the side, or to take time out of your busy schedule to just be there. This is one area of my life I am working to change. I have a friend who is like that - it does not matter what he is doing or how bad things are, if I need him he is there, no questions asked. I now know how it feels to know someone has got your back and that if you are alone it is by choice because they are only a phone call away. That is the type of person I inspire to be, but it is hard, damn hard. What is more sad is that I have not given this person the credit for this. I have not thanked him or told him how much it means to me. What's worse is I have not reciprocated that kindness. Well, that changes today. It is time for a visit.

I cannot think of anything better I could wish for you than to find that person in your life whom you can really count on. Odds are, this person already exists and there may even be more than one. If not, call me - I need the practice.

CJ

Thoughts on The Invitation - part 3

If you have followed along this far, bless you for indulging me. If this is the first time you have checked out my blog, please start at my earlier post titled, "The Invitation". Now on to my ponderings...

3. "It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear or further pain."

There is definately truth to the old saying, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but that is hardly comforting when you are going trough hard times. Sometimes life just isn't fair, we have to deal with all kinds of pain and tribulations: illness, financial setbacks, betrayal from friends or family, and the cruelest of all, death. If it were not for the hard times, we could never really appreciate the good ones. Have you ever noticed how the death of a loved one can bring feuding families together? Or how when the chips are down you really find out who your friends are? When you become open to life's betrayals you begin to see the meaning behind them. They are just merely obsticals that God placed in front of us from which we can learn from and ultimately help others who are facing them. The stronger we are, the more firm our grip becomes when we reach out to those who need it.

I do not wish any trials or tribulations to come upon any of you. But I do wish you the strenth and courage to face them when/if they do show up.

CJ

Thoughts on The Invitation - part 2

Continuing my interpretations...

2. "It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive."

Boy this one should have been titled, Dear CJ. There are those out there who think I am going through some kind of mid-life crisis (Denita Lynn) but the truth is I am not in a crisis at all - I just refuse to act my age. Last week my buddy and I decided to learn how to ride the kids' RipStick (new skateboard thing with just two wheels). Of course our wives thought we were crazy and were betting good money we would end up in the hospital, but we managed to learn with no broken bones and our pride intact. Who says skateboards or bicycles are for kids only. I want to be around to play with my grandkids one day and the only way I know to do that is to stay active. To get out there and LIVE life, not just stand on the outside watching it go by. I will gladly risk looking like a fool for a chance to be alive.

Anybody for a game of hopscotch?

Thoughts on The Invitation - part 1

I would like to elaborate a little about "The Invitation" - scroll down to my previous post if you haven't already. It is such a profound "letter" that I thought I would share my interpretation. If you would induldge me...

1. "It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing." - You know its funny, I just started on facebook and reunited with alot of my old friends from high school. The different career paths we all took is just amazing - we have lawyers, doctors, teachers, accountants, etc. Although I admit to a little jealousy because I never really figured out what kind of career I wanted, I admire those that followed their dreams and met their hearts longing. When asked in the high school paper where I thought I would be in 10 years I replied "married and have a son". Now I am married to the love of my life and we have two wonderful sons. It just dawned on me reading The Invitation that I did follow my heart and dreams - college and career were not nearly as important to me as the family I would have one day.

So to those that met with success along the way, I say congratulations. To those that feel like they met with failure, I say look again. Success is not defined by our peers or society, it is defined by our hearts. I truly believe we all have a purpose in life, a reason to be here, and if we look hard enough we will find that reason. I know I did - I love you M, John Michael, and Spencer!

The Invitation

I read this in a book recently (thanks Donna) and had to share it:

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear or further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realisitic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here - I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

New Year's Resolutions Anyone?

So be honest, have you made new resolutions this year? To be more patient, quit smoking, lose weight, or call your mom more? Didn't you do the same thing last year and the year before that? Let me guess how well it worked out for ya. What makes January 1st different that any other day in our lives? I came to the conclusion years ago that the first day of a new "calender" year has to be the unluckiest day to make new promises to yourself. I do not know of one person who has stuck with a New Years Resolution for any reasonable amount of time. January seems easy, February starts getting a little tougher, and by March you have forgotten what it was you resolved to do. I don't claim to have the answers for changing the things in our life that we need to, but I do know which day to NOT choose to start said changes. January 1st is just another day, no better or no worse than the ones before it or after. The change has to come in our hearts first, regardless of what day it happens to be, and only then will it have a chance of succeeding. You don't plant seeds of fruit before the soil is ready because the seeds will die before they have a chance to grow, so why plants seeds of change before our hearts and minds are ready?

Whichever day you choose, I wish you the best of luck. Really, I do.

Regards,
CJ