Merry Christmas.. I mean Happy Holidays (parents only)

"Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." Matthew 1:18

"For unto you a Saviour is born, which is Christ the Lord" Luke 2:11

How did we get from celebrating the birth of our Lord, who was sent to save us from our sins and give us eternal life, to worrying about whether or not our child gets everything he/she wants from a fictitious character called "Santa Clause"? To answer that question, if it could be answered, is beyond the scope of both my simple blog and my simple brain. But it is a question that we should all ask ourselves. Somewhere over the last century we, as a dominantly Christian society, have perversed this most sacred holiday. Somehow we ended up worshiping the jolly fat man in the red suit and just occasionally paying homage to the true reason for the season.

We can blame this transformation on a number of things and people: our over-materialistic society, colorful and bright television ads aimed at our kids, our government who tells us spending money frivolously is somehow patriotic, or the ever popular blame - our parents. But the truth is, it is wrong and we know it. I rarely talk to my kids about the birth of Christ, but we spend plenty of time discussing how cool a certain toy is or how Santa gets down the chimney without getting stuck. To make matters worse, for all the sacrifices M and I have made (credit card debt, delayed bills, extra work hours, etc.) we received none of the credit... "Wow, look what Santa brought you this year honey. Oh no, your mommy and I had nothing to do with it. That nice stranger whom we've never met who lives in the North Pole brought it. He loves you so much that he worked his little elf slaves to near-death all year just to provide you and all the other "good kids" with everything your little hearts desired. Yeah, then he went out and trapped a bunch of damn flying reindeer, chained them up to big heavy sleigh and whipped the living shit out of them until they had carried his big lard ass to each and every house in the world in one night. Oh look, he was so busy he barely touched his milk and cookies." Luckily I don't let it get to me or hold any ill feelings about it.

As for me and my house... it will probably more of the same. But I am going to try and re-introduce Christ back into our Christmas. For example, this year I plan on having one of the boys read some of the biblical verses about the birth of baby Jesus and talk to them about what we "should" be celebrating. Next year, maybe a nativity scene on the front lawn and a visit to the church on Christmas Eve. Hey, it's a start.

Merry Christmas!
CJ

Freedom At Last

I read a very interesting book recently (interesting to me anyway) and the author was a martial arts teacher who gave all of his new students a list of permissions granted to them. These ranged from permission to defend themselves to permission to one day be better than him. He wanted his students to be free to do their best and get the most out of their training. In other words he gave them permission to succeed. Ofcourse this got me to thinking about the liberties we, as a civilized society, grant ourselves. An example would be how some men give themselves permission to express their feminine side, or how some adults give themselves permission to act childish. My own example is how I have given myself permission to make a fool out of myself if it makes someone happy or lightens the mood (karaoke and doing the worm at a party come to mind). But now I have decided that I want to grant myself more liberties. I will no longer be held back by not giving myself the freedom to do what I really want, or say what I really want. Below are some of my new "stamps of approval" to myself:

1. Permission to be rude when I want. I no longer care if I come across as mean because I am not. So if I seemed rude to you I was probably just having a bad day and did not feel like putting on a happy face just for your sensitivities. Sorry.

2. Permission to laugh out loud in public or cry in private. If its funny, I will laugh my butt off regardless of what anyone else thinks. I have always been one to just chuckle and maybe give a little nose snort. My wife will laugh hysterically at anything she perceives as funny, regardless of where she is or in what company. I have always been a little jealous of the laugh-out-loud-crowd, but no more. I will howl with the best of them now... Also, it is now OK for me to cry as long as no one is around (a man has to have his pride). I don't think I need to linger on that one too long.

3. Permission to express myself and be different. I think I started that one when I got my tattoo, but granting myself this new permission will really free me up. No, not with more tattoos - my mom has yet to accept the one I have. But if I feel like wearing a basket on my head and clogs on my feet, so be it.

4. Permission to question my beliefs and yours. For instance, I just bought a book on Buddhism. That does not mean I am going to change my Christian beliefs, but rather I want to explore why others believe the way they do. Why are all Buddha statues fat? What's with the belly rub? Its not divine answers I am seeking, but enlightenment.

5. Permission to be who I want to be. If I want to be stronger, then I am free to workout and build muscle. If I want to be smarter, then there is a library full of books to expand my mind. If I want to do anything to better myself, I now have the liberty to do what is necessary to achieve that goal. No stereotypes I must heed to and no preconceptions about how a man my age should look or act. I choose.

6. Permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Sure, we all make mistakes and we know that they are unavoidable. But here is the way I am going to look at it from this point on; if I am making mistakes that means that I am making decisions. The one who makes the decisions is the one in charge. Mistakes can be learned from, patronizing cannot.

OK, so I showed you mine now you show me yours. I hereby grant you permission to go forth and empower yourself with your own new freedoms - the only caveat is that you have to share them with the rest of us. What are you waiting for?

O crap

Here he is folks, our new President of the United States. Elected by the people and hopefully for the people. I never would have believed it. What's next, a woman in the oval office? Just kidding. I don't really care what race or gender our President is, but I do care about his policies. And this man's policies scare the crap out of me when I think about them, so I am not going to think about it any longer. I voted and my man lost. Nothing more I can do. If you didn't vote then you might as well just shut up and take your lumps, moron.
I have talked to alot of my "brothers" out there and they are really scared and mad. Why? We are fortunate in this country. Our founding fathers made damn sure that no man can run this country the way he sees fit. He can lead and he can make suggestions, but he cannot make the laws. We have 3 branches in this great government so that one branch cannot control the whole nation. Example: everybody blames Bush for the economy and this war we are still in, but they fail to take into account that none of it would have taken place if Congress did not approve it first. And guess what - the Democrats lead Congress right now. The President is either the hero or the goat, regardless of the decisions he makes. Now I know that if you have a bad leader that the people do suffer, and we have, but the checks and balances we have in place are there to keep the suffering to a minimum.
As for me, I will support our new President until he gives me reason not too. We'll see how long that lasts.

Life Lessons

Thought I might share some of the life's musings I have learned over the years:
- You do not need that tool in the shed, until you loan it.
- You will never make enough or accumulate enough to be content. You just have to be.
- Rearview mirror is your past, so what's the point?
- Whoever said "it doesn't matter if you win or lose, its how you play the game" was obiously the loser.
- Some winners do cheat and some cheaters do win, so just accept it and move on.
- Without evil there cannot be good. Think about it.
- If you think your hair looks bad or your jeans make you look fat, it does. So don't ask someone to lie.
- Cats know something we don't.
- The only way to receive true unconditional love is from a dog.
- You can generally trust a guy who whistles.
- McDonalds, WalMart, Budweiser, and Marlboro are not to blame, we are.
- Plan B should really be Plan A.
- What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive - OK I borrowed that one, but it is true.
- Enemies are easier to make than friends.
- If you have to ask if you talk too much, shut up.
- Women probably are from Mars, that would expain why they are so out there.
- Men probably are from Venus, the name reminds me of something...
- Kids are your past coming back to haunt you.
- The drinking age should be the same as the voting/draft age, but the driving age should be 21.
- You will not appreciate your parents until you have kids of your own.
- You will not appreciate your grandparents until they are gone.
- You will not appreciate privacy until you have children.
- You will not appreciate the romote control until it is lost.
- mp3 players are a gift from God.
- If you like it, it is bad for you.
- The goal in life should be to have more people show up at your funeral than at your birth.
- A sandwich made by someone else always taste better
- Luck favors the prepared
- People will do more to avoid pain than to receive pleasure.
- Nothing worth doing is easy
And finally...
- If you have to blog it is becaue nobody else will listen to you.

The Party Is Over

Travis Tritt summed it up well, "Won't you tell me if you can,Cause life's so hard to understand,Why's the rich man busy dancing,While the poor man pays the band... Lord have mercy on the working man". Well friends, the party is over and now it is time to clean up - Wall Street and Congress that is. The fat men said it was one hell of a party. What, you weren't invited? Don't fret I wasn't either. But I'll give you one guess on who has to pay the band - you're right, the thin man (us).
We had fat men from corporate America milking these companies and their employees for all they were worth. We had fat men in the lending sectors who were taking advantage of us hard-working home owners by over-valuing our assets and telling us we could afford them. And then we had the fat men in congress encouraging all of us to spend, spend, spend - remember, its good for the economy. Bull Shit. I'll tell you who I think it was good for: congress and their pork barrel projects, Welfare recipients, major shareholders and execs of large companies, and the golden child who could do no wrong - the banks. And now the rest of us have to pay: small businesses who can no longer epand because of tightened credit, middle-class home owners who now have negative equity and are scraping to get by, the blue collar backbone of our country who are losing their jobs at an alarming rate, and the average Joe who has been minding his own business and trusting that those in charge are doing the right thing by us.
Well, the party is over and the crowd has left. Don't worry, we'll take care of everything like we always have. We'll pay the band (higher taxes) and clean up the mess (vote your sorry asses out). Thank you may I have another sir.

Who's Your Daddy?

This is a message for all the fathers (including me) out there in web land: its time to grow up, own up, and man up! I mean it, shut your laptop right now, get your ass off the couch and go spend time with your kids. They need you, they want you, and if you're not there then they will replace you. That replacement could be drugs, gangs, porn, cults, you name it. Without your guidance and support it is too easy for our kids to go astray. They have access to more filth and violence than we could ever imagine when we were kids and it will be the ruin of our culture if we do not do something about it. Too many of our sons and daughters are growing up in single-parent homes (mostly with mom) and they have a very distorted view of what a family is supposed to look and feel like. Our mothers are doing the best they can, but they are not fathers. The father is supposed to be the head of the house, the disciplinarian, the spiritual leader, and the provider. But no, we have become too lazy and too self-absorbed to be the leaders we need to be. If we are not satisfied with our marriage, or our careers, or lifestyle, then we just simply leave - we wuss out like the yellow-bellied cowards we are. Its too easy to just start over if we are not "happy". Well guess what, life ain't about our happiness. Life couldn't give a rat's ass if you or I am happy where we are. As soon as that child, that gift from God, was conceived you gave up your right to just do as you please. We were given a blessing and with that blessing comes responsibility - big word isn't it. That responsibility includes: providing, caring, guiding, teaching, and LOVING. And if you have sons like I do, then we have the extra responsibility of teaching them how to be men, real men. If you are lucky enough to have daughters, then their protection should be your primary concern - protection from the boys who did not have fathers to teach them any better.

Also, if you are a man, or dad, and you know a child that does not have a father around, then its time to get involved. These kids need a father-figure in their lives and the mothers could certainly use some help. As the Shriner saying goes, "A man has never stood so tall as when he stoops to help a child in need". Sometimes I have to remind myself of this and realize that as a man, and as a friend, my responsibilities go beyond my immediate family. I believe God expects us to help all of his precious creations. Actually we should want to regardless because our future depends on it.

Without us, our children will have a void in their life that they will certainly fill somewhere. With us, they can grow into the kind of children who will be the leaders of tomorrow and change this vicious cycle of immorality and hatred that we are seeing now.So, what are you waiting for - go man up!

Romance Novels Are Ruining Romance!

I have a beef with these so-called romance novels. I know I will catch a allot of heat from my wife on this, if she ever reads it, but she knows my stance on this issue so it should come as no surprise to her. You see, many women like my loving wife cling to these fictitious novels and will read them non-stop for hours. My problem is that these books are nothing but smut in print. What would your wife say if every time she came around you were gaulking at the girls in Playboy? Would she not be offended? Of course she would because she knows that it is almost impossible for her to look like these girls and she would feel that she does not turn you on because your standards are obviously too high. And I could certainly see her point, but doesn't these smut books do the same to men? I mean have you seen the covers on these things? The chiseled abs, long flowing hair, and muscles popping out from everywhere. Who can compete with a guy like that? Not only does he look like a blond Greek god, but his only role is to woo these women characters with romance that verges on the edge of gayness (is that a word?). I have read some incerpts from these paperback porns and believe me when I tell you they leave nothing to the imagination. So now your woman who is partaking in the sins of the paperback trash now expects to get the same treatment from you. After all if you really loved her you would automatically find ways to romanticize her like Pierre, the nancy boy hero, does in her book. Good luck with that...

Of course a compromise could be worked out: you get your smut and I get mine and we'll take notes and compare. We could even play the different roles: I'll put on a wig and suck in my gut, but you have to pose like the pictures in my book (uh, magazine). OR, we all agree to leave the vulgar media and make our own romance, with no preconceived notions of what things should be or look like. We could all agree to live in the real world and accept our real bodies and feelings and appreciate who we are, both inside and out. Just a thought. I feel better already.