Romance Novels Are Ruining Romance!

I have a beef with these so-called romance novels. I know I will catch a allot of heat from my wife on this, if she ever reads it, but she knows my stance on this issue so it should come as no surprise to her. You see, many women like my loving wife cling to these fictitious novels and will read them non-stop for hours. My problem is that these books are nothing but smut in print. What would your wife say if every time she came around you were gaulking at the girls in Playboy? Would she not be offended? Of course she would because she knows that it is almost impossible for her to look like these girls and she would feel that she does not turn you on because your standards are obviously too high. And I could certainly see her point, but doesn't these smut books do the same to men? I mean have you seen the covers on these things? The chiseled abs, long flowing hair, and muscles popping out from everywhere. Who can compete with a guy like that? Not only does he look like a blond Greek god, but his only role is to woo these women characters with romance that verges on the edge of gayness (is that a word?). I have read some incerpts from these paperback porns and believe me when I tell you they leave nothing to the imagination. So now your woman who is partaking in the sins of the paperback trash now expects to get the same treatment from you. After all if you really loved her you would automatically find ways to romanticize her like Pierre, the nancy boy hero, does in her book. Good luck with that...

Of course a compromise could be worked out: you get your smut and I get mine and we'll take notes and compare. We could even play the different roles: I'll put on a wig and suck in my gut, but you have to pose like the pictures in my book (uh, magazine). OR, we all agree to leave the vulgar media and make our own romance, with no preconceived notions of what things should be or look like. We could all agree to live in the real world and accept our real bodies and feelings and appreciate who we are, both inside and out. Just a thought. I feel better already.